Fools for Wireless

Fools for Wireless

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Written By Jamie Spencer

It’s hard to understand why real companies would introduce a new product on April 1. Google’s new Webmail service, reading blogs via Kinja, etc. — these are cool items that could have been lost in the shuffle today as the e-mail announcing “Microsoft Buys Catholic Church” makes the rounds of the Internet. Again. On the other hand, it’s fun to try and decide what is real and what’s nonsense.

The world of wireless networking is certainly not immune to the pranksters, whether today or year round. Here’s a few:

  • Broadcom and Atheros “team-up” to create an new speed boost called “SuperBurner-AF” that uses a lasers to make line of site paths and a “no-neighbor” mode to knock off other WLANs so you can use all the bandwidth. If only.
  • Feng Shui Networking — “The Feng Shui Torpo-Fluxometer for Unflinching Network Vector Orientation enables anyone to instantly determine which direction to orient their network for chi optimization.”
  • Power over Wi-Fi — This is actually a protocol called TCP/EP or TCP over Electrical Power. You could use it to broadcast electrical energy that would power laptops.
  • Kyocera’s “Blue Tooth” — It’s a dental prosthetic that lets you check mail via your Bluetooth-enabled phone.

Those are some of the best from today; here’s a couple of perennial favorites:

  • WiFi-SM — It’s a patch you affix to your body, which can zap you with electricity every time it detects certain words in new stories from hundreds of sources. Says one user: “When somebody suffers on earth, not only I know it, but I can also feel a little bit of his/her pain. I don’t feel guilty anymore and I can enjoy life without limitation.”
  • WiFi Speed Spray — Guaranteed to enhance the speed of your wireless data in the airwaves by eliminating harsh RF conditions caused by pollution, other computers, or even “at night.” Darkness cripples WLAN… who knew?
Jamie Spencer
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